Weeeeell, just a reminder. We have not neglected the blog in any way, shape, or form. My creativity has run dry for the past few months as I struggle on how to blog on no new updates.
Maybe adopting babies is a lot like searching for love. The harder you chase it, the more fleeting it becomes. So, Jon and I continue to just plug along hoping/praying that one totally ordinary day in our lives will become that one extraordinary day in our lives.
We are quickly approaching the one year mark for being in the pool of candidates which will be a milestone we won't necessarily be excited to celebrate, but nevertheless we haven't given up hope.
November 29, 2011
September 19, 2011
Video Killed the Radio Star
Okay, so maybe we weren't radio stars, but I think this video is our star-making roles. Okay, totally joking of course.
In total, we did have to submit our video three different times befor the agency liked it. And in turn, that was probably nearly 30 takes on our end before we liked one that we wanted to submit to the agency.
However, when all is said and done, we are just happy that it is complete. I can barely stand to look at it or stomach hearing myself talk on camera, so hopefully others won't be as harsh. Here is a link to our video after our adoption agency edited it to look nice:
In total, we did have to submit our video three different times befor the agency liked it. And in turn, that was probably nearly 30 takes on our end before we liked one that we wanted to submit to the agency.
However, when all is said and done, we are just happy that it is complete. I can barely stand to look at it or stomach hearing myself talk on camera, so hopefully others won't be as harsh. Here is a link to our video after our adoption agency edited it to look nice:
August 22, 2011
Video Reshoot
Well, we didn't get favorable reviews on our first video so Jon and I had to do a re-shoot this weekend. We were accused of talking too fast, not sounding conversational enough, and trying to fit too much in.
Once the reviews are in on our second attempt, we will work on getting it posted unless a third re-shoot is necessary.
We left up our make-shift "video shoot" area in the baby's room just in case we have to give it another go.
Once the reviews are in on our second attempt, we will work on getting it posted unless a third re-shoot is necessary.
We left up our make-shift "video shoot" area in the baby's room just in case we have to give it another go.
August 15, 2011
Lights, Camera, Action.....Take #55!
As our adoption agency rushes to compete with other adoption agencies that are using social media as a way to reach their target audience, Jon and I find ourselves constantly being tasked with projects we weren't expecting.
Last week, we were told we were going to extend our online profiles to include an additional three pictures which was very exciting as it is terrifying to think that one picture may make or break some one's perception of you. And this week, we were told that their website will now support video and we needed to create a video to go with our profile. Additionally, the video would be possibly posted on the agency's Facebook page and YouTube site.
Jon and I were fine with these assignments baring a few major issues:
After we got everything into place, Jon and I proceeded to do nearly 20 takes (that is NOT an exaggeration). Sometimes, it was as simple as I accidentally introduced myself as Jon instead of Keith. Or every now and again, Jon would let out a giggle at something I said. Or sometimes it was because neither of us realized the nervous ticks we have when under pressure. I can't sit still, itch my face uncontrollably, and gulp at awkward moments. Jon is a head darted......looking at me, then the camera, at me, then the camera, at me, then the camera every 2 seconds. So, by the time we got that all under control AND said what we needed to say in a calm and intelligent manner, we were 20 takes in. We were exhausted when all is said and done.
Once we get the approval and the video goes up on our profile, I will provide a link.
Last week, we were told we were going to extend our online profiles to include an additional three pictures which was very exciting as it is terrifying to think that one picture may make or break some one's perception of you. And this week, we were told that their website will now support video and we needed to create a video to go with our profile. Additionally, the video would be possibly posted on the agency's Facebook page and YouTube site.
Jon and I were fine with these assignments baring a few major issues:
- The technical guidelines were SO specific that our video camera did not support them. Additionally, zero cameras at Best Buy supported the guidelines either. So we were forced to go with a non-camera camera that specializes in posting videos to blogs/YouTube. We were forced to spend a whopping $212 to buy a Sony Bloggie Touch which we do not want to use as a permanent video camera, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
- Jon and I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE the way we sound on video. I mean we literally both cringe when we hear ourselves on video. I think Jon sounds normal on video, but I sound like a purse just fell out of my mouth or that I am the Grand Marshall of the gayest gay pride parade in town.
- Video cannot be longer than 2 minutes and 15 seconds, period.
- It has to be shot shoulders up in front of a white wall
- The following questions/topics must be hit upon in the following time increments:
- Introduce Yourselves (10 Seconds Combined)
- Tell What You Admire About Each Other (1 Minute Combined)
- Tell Why Open Adoption Appeals To You (1 Minute Combined)
- And the cardinal rule which we broke BIG TIME.....don't do any retakes.
After we got everything into place, Jon and I proceeded to do nearly 20 takes (that is NOT an exaggeration). Sometimes, it was as simple as I accidentally introduced myself as Jon instead of Keith. Or every now and again, Jon would let out a giggle at something I said. Or sometimes it was because neither of us realized the nervous ticks we have when under pressure. I can't sit still, itch my face uncontrollably, and gulp at awkward moments. Jon is a head darted......looking at me, then the camera, at me, then the camera, at me, then the camera every 2 seconds. So, by the time we got that all under control AND said what we needed to say in a calm and intelligent manner, we were 20 takes in. We were exhausted when all is said and done.
Once we get the approval and the video goes up on our profile, I will provide a link.
August 10, 2011
And Then There Were Four.....
Well, we knew that it was likely that at least one of the five couples in our Seattle Adoption Seminar (held by our actual adoption agency) would get placed with a baby. Of course, we selfishly hoped it would be us first. And we received word in the last week that indeed a couple from our session was chosen and now they are the proud parents of a beautiful baby boy.
I playfully described each of the couples in our Seattle Seminar blog posting from October 24, 2010. I described this couple as "the young couple (our age) who had trouble conceiving and were just content listening to the rest of us interact."
It is a strange mixture of excitement and sadness. It is obvious that this was not supposed to be our baby as fate chose this other couple as the parents. However, it also hits way closer to home than any other birth announcement. Jon and I receive monthly updates of which couples (or individuals ) were placed with a baby, but every other time we have heard that a baby was placed with a couple, they are a faceless name. We have no connection to them besides this very, very intense and emotional journey. However, when we heard the news this time....for this particular couple, it felt much more intense, much more real, much more hopeful, and much more discouraging all in one. It comes back to the mind game where you struggle to balance positive thinking with realistic thinking. On one hand you have "wow, it is great to see progress and know that it really can happen at any moment in your life." And on the other hand you have "how much longer can I continue this torture of will it or won't it happen"?
Anyways, we continue to walk along through life hoping that at the moment when we least expect it....BAM.....our moment will arrive!!
I playfully described each of the couples in our Seattle Seminar blog posting from October 24, 2010. I described this couple as "the young couple (our age) who had trouble conceiving and were just content listening to the rest of us interact."
It is a strange mixture of excitement and sadness. It is obvious that this was not supposed to be our baby as fate chose this other couple as the parents. However, it also hits way closer to home than any other birth announcement. Jon and I receive monthly updates of which couples (or individuals ) were placed with a baby, but every other time we have heard that a baby was placed with a couple, they are a faceless name. We have no connection to them besides this very, very intense and emotional journey. However, when we heard the news this time....for this particular couple, it felt much more intense, much more real, much more hopeful, and much more discouraging all in one. It comes back to the mind game where you struggle to balance positive thinking with realistic thinking. On one hand you have "wow, it is great to see progress and know that it really can happen at any moment in your life." And on the other hand you have "how much longer can I continue this torture of will it or won't it happen"?
Anyways, we continue to walk along through life hoping that at the moment when we least expect it....BAM.....our moment will arrive!!
July 26, 2011
The Dreaded "E" Word!
Ugh, as if waiting and waiting wasn't emotionally difficult enough, we received our first notification that parts of our home study are ready to EXPIRE! What....how in God's name is this even possible? Jon and I were our own worst enemies looking back. We were SO efficient at filling out/gathering our required documents that the home study agency and adoption agency weren't ready for us. They had no idea they would recieve our information so quickly. So our documents sat and sat for months. So even though we officially entered the pool on February 10, 2011, our physicals and background checks were finished in July & August of 2010. So, now Jon and I have to get these back up-to-date or else our profile gets pulled from the adoption agency and we cannot be selected.
It is incredibly aggravating that literally nothing about our profile has changed (we didn't move, we didn't switch jobs, we didn't win the lottery, we didn't separate, etc.) but we still have to re-fill out these insanely long forms. The best part about the forms is that they are the type of PDF documents that prevent you from saving them, so we will have to re-write everything from scratch. Seriously.....enough with these forms already!!
It is incredibly aggravating that literally nothing about our profile has changed (we didn't move, we didn't switch jobs, we didn't win the lottery, we didn't separate, etc.) but we still have to re-fill out these insanely long forms. The best part about the forms is that they are the type of PDF documents that prevent you from saving them, so we will have to re-write everything from scratch. Seriously.....enough with these forms already!!
May 20, 2011
Newborn Infant Care Classes - Class Two
Well we successfully made it through our second and final Newborn Infant Care Class. This class was 100% hands-on. The emphasis of the class was on the following:
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| Sweet Baby Mika |
• Changing Diapers
• Holding a Newborn
• Bathing a Newborn
• Swaddling a Newborn
We were each told to "grab a baby" from a table of babies. I grabbed this baby who we thoughtfully named Mika which is the #1 contending name that Jon's mom wants us to name our baby. We figured if we don't name our actual baby Mika, this would at least be paying respect to her. The babies were not like real babies and because their arms and legs were not flexible, it made most of these tasks almost impossible.
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| Me swaddling Mika. |
If we had to grade each other on swaddling, Jon would get an A+ and I would get a D-. I personally would consider swaddling a mathematical calculation and in all fairness, Jon was a math major in college and I was not (I will just leave it at that and not reveal my academic ineptness at math) so it was only natural that he would be better than me. I mean, you are after all folding the blanket into different geometric shapes and geometry and me.....we don't mix......EVER!!
Changing Diapers was not biggie for either Jon or me. We both have done it numerous times. However, there were at least 4-5 people in a room of 20 who never had changed a diaper before which was interesting to us.
We bathed our babies and Jon and I split the duties. I took the top half and Jon took the bottom half which is by far the more complicated half. It was nice because we learned about cleaning the umbilical cord, cleaning a circumcision, and cleaning the important areas in general.
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| Jon holding Mika. See, he looks like a pro! |
And finally, Jon and I felt like naturals with the holding the baby section. The instructor showed us 10 or so holds and made us practice. She also made us practice talking to our plastic babies which was by far the most awkward part of the whole class.
I think the most entertaining part of the whole class however was the guy who fell asleep in class and his wife kept nudging him to wake up because she was mortified. But he just kept falling asleep and you could tell he was going to get the ass-chewing of his life when he got home. You can fall asleep during a movie, watching TV, during history class, but you do not fall asleep during Newborn Infant Care Class when your wife is 8 months pregnant. I don't know about you, but I smell a Father of the Year trophy in his near future!
May 13, 2011
Newborn Infant Care Classes - Class One
Jon and I are taking a two part class on Newborn Infant Care from the local hospital in St. Paul. This all came about upon the suggestion of my wonderful friend Julie who noted that her husband Alvin got a lot out of these type of classes. Jon and I have been really excited, but equally terrified because of the whole "which of these couples is not like the rest" looks we get. And boy oh boy, this class did not disappoint!! We stood outside the door trying to rubberneck and see what kind of couples were inside. After standing in the hall like losers for two minutes debating whether or not we had the strength to walk through the door, I finally took charge and busted on it. Within four seconds of entering the door, the female instructor announces in front of all the couples already in the room......."Wooooow, two dads and noooooooooo mommy?" It wasn't a statement so much as a question and this began our awkward journey through Newborn Infant Care.
I have to note that there were seven couples total and two singles - a soon-to-be mom and a soon-to-be dad who were not together. And of those seven couples, only one of them besides Jon and I were married. I found that very interesting! We were told we have to introduce ourselves and tell everyone our scheduled due date (cue the panicked expressions on the faces of Jon and I) I tried pulling out the old "in case you couldn't tell, neither of us is actually due to give birth" joke to lighten the mood and was greeted to a mixed reaction of laughter and scowls.
Anywho, we covered a variety of things including states of infant consciousness, cues that your baby is overstimulated, crib safety, and general infant appearance. This was the informational class and next week will be the hands on portion (bathing, swaddling, etc.) which will be great. We did get to see a slide show of all the different non-critical and temporary abnormalities that could be present in an infant (cone head, cradle cap, etc.) so that we were not alarmed at the appearance of our baby should any of those abnormalities be present. And I just have to say that I have never seen so many nipples in my entire lifetime (cue the jokes). I mean I am fascinated by the female body's ability to carry off such a magnificent and amazing task, but seriously, are the one minute closeups (no exaggeration!) necessary in the video that is blown up to the size of a movie theatre screen? There was literally no safe place to look in the room!! Looking at the screen made me feel perverted and looking around the room made me look uncomfortable with female anatomy which for the record I am not. Only when the nipple is big enough to body slam me do I feel awkward!! I could feel the uncontrollable giggles starting so I had to go to my "safe place" in order not to make a complete fool of myself......and Jon!
Class Two is next Thursday.
I have to note that there were seven couples total and two singles - a soon-to-be mom and a soon-to-be dad who were not together. And of those seven couples, only one of them besides Jon and I were married. I found that very interesting! We were told we have to introduce ourselves and tell everyone our scheduled due date (cue the panicked expressions on the faces of Jon and I) I tried pulling out the old "in case you couldn't tell, neither of us is actually due to give birth" joke to lighten the mood and was greeted to a mixed reaction of laughter and scowls.
Anywho, we covered a variety of things including states of infant consciousness, cues that your baby is overstimulated, crib safety, and general infant appearance. This was the informational class and next week will be the hands on portion (bathing, swaddling, etc.) which will be great. We did get to see a slide show of all the different non-critical and temporary abnormalities that could be present in an infant (cone head, cradle cap, etc.) so that we were not alarmed at the appearance of our baby should any of those abnormalities be present. And I just have to say that I have never seen so many nipples in my entire lifetime (cue the jokes). I mean I am fascinated by the female body's ability to carry off such a magnificent and amazing task, but seriously, are the one minute closeups (no exaggeration!) necessary in the video that is blown up to the size of a movie theatre screen? There was literally no safe place to look in the room!! Looking at the screen made me feel perverted and looking around the room made me look uncomfortable with female anatomy which for the record I am not. Only when the nipple is big enough to body slam me do I feel awkward!! I could feel the uncontrollable giggles starting so I had to go to my "safe place" in order not to make a complete fool of myself......and Jon!
Class Two is next Thursday.
May 5, 2011
Day 84 - No News is Boring News
Well, our Count Up Clock is on the fritz.....AGAIN! Anyways, it is day 84 since we entered the pool of candidates and we just wanted to inform everyone that we haven't abandoned the blog or are letting it fall by the wayside. There literally is nothing to report. It has been rather quiet as of lately with regards to the adoption.
Jon and I both report to each other that every now and again at an extremely random moment in time (taking a shower, driving to work, making a sandwich), one of us will get a "today may be the day" chill up our spine. And while so far none of them have proven to be anything, it temporarily reignites our excitement after day-upon-day of no news.
Jon and I both report to each other that every now and again at an extremely random moment in time (taking a shower, driving to work, making a sandwich), one of us will get a "today may be the day" chill up our spine. And while so far none of them have proven to be anything, it temporarily reignites our excitement after day-upon-day of no news.
April 6, 2011
Our First Screening Call
We received our first screening call yesterday. It couldn't have come at a better time and gave Jon and I the added boost we needed to stay positive throughout this process. A screening call is essentially a way for the agency to compare a birth mother's situation against our parameters for adopting a baby including drug usage, baby's race, baby's age, etc. If you are a potential match or a close match, they will call you to advise you of the exact specifics of the situation so you can make a judgement call as to whether this particular situation would be a fit for you or not. This does not mean we would have been choosen if we said yes. They are asking other potential screens whose parameters were also close but not an exact match about the same situation and then will send the profiles of the screeners who said "yes" to the birthmother. In the end, the birthmother still gets to choose.
The birthmother was Hispanic and had a 16 month old Hispanic/Caucasian baby. She was also 5 weeks pregnant with a Hispanic/African American baby. While the race of the babies are defintely not an issue for Jon and I....the age of the older child and the financial constratints (mainly that we had prepared for one child and not two) were of serious concern to us. A 16 month old is more than old enough to know it was taken away from its original mother and it could form some seroius attachment issues which would come to surface once the child got older. Additoinally, the mother wanted both of the children adopted to the same family. While we immeslely respect her for wanting to keep the siblings togehter, this is a little more than Jon and I may be able to handle all at once. It would be really hard to take care of a newborn and make sure the 16 month old was receiving the appropriate attention to make sure it didn't begin forming attachement disorders.
While in the end it wasn't a match for Jon and I, it keeps us motivated and reminds us that "the call" could come at any moment in our lives.
The birthmother was Hispanic and had a 16 month old Hispanic/Caucasian baby. She was also 5 weeks pregnant with a Hispanic/African American baby. While the race of the babies are defintely not an issue for Jon and I....the age of the older child and the financial constratints (mainly that we had prepared for one child and not two) were of serious concern to us. A 16 month old is more than old enough to know it was taken away from its original mother and it could form some seroius attachment issues which would come to surface once the child got older. Additoinally, the mother wanted both of the children adopted to the same family. While we immeslely respect her for wanting to keep the siblings togehter, this is a little more than Jon and I may be able to handle all at once. It would be really hard to take care of a newborn and make sure the 16 month old was receiving the appropriate attention to make sure it didn't begin forming attachement disorders.
While in the end it wasn't a match for Jon and I, it keeps us motivated and reminds us that "the call" could come at any moment in our lives.
March 21, 2011
Baby Duties & Baby's Dooties
Well, my adorable nephew Liam was baptized last weekend and I am honored to be one of his Godparents. He did fantastic and I may be partial, but I think he was the cutest baby that has ever been baptized. He wore an all white suit with a vest and matching tie. I almost died....almost died!
I was in MI from Friday night through Monday afternoon and wanted to do as much as possible to help alleviate the sleeplessness of my sister and brother-in-law. I don't want to sound like I was a Saint or anything like that because I still fit in plenty of "butt on couch time"!
I volunteered to do baby duties and was put through my first "Baby Boot Camp." I don't think there is more valuable experience in the world than offering to do middle of the night duties or allow mom and dad to make a quick run to the store while still having the safety of mom and dad around in case I needed help or had a question. And for the most part, Liam went pretty easy on me. I did get a dooty that smeared all the way up his back, he peed on me, and he spit up on himself and me twice. But I also got to help give him a bath, rock him to sleep, feed him, change him, and dress him.
And it was in those times that I looked down at him and wondered how anyone could give a little, helpless being like him up for adoption. Don't get me wrong, I am going to be eternally grateful to the person(s) who has the strength to give us their child, but in those moments with Liam, I knew that I don't think I could do it if the tables were turned. And that is where I think the huge misconception with adoption comes in. Most people think that people put their babies up for adoption because they don't care, but I have a feeling that when the time comes to take our baby from its birth mother's arms, it will be the most difficult moment of that woman's life. And it isn't because she doesn't care....it is because she cares so much for that baby that she knows she cannot give it the quality of life it deserves.
Whoa, this blog entry took a TOTALLY different turn than originally intended. Back on course! Anyways, being with Liam was great and I find myself really missing him. I can't wait to see him and my family again!!!
Here is a picture of Liam and I at brunch after the Baptism. I am not sure why my nose looks SO big in this picture, but Liam as usual looks flawless!! Note: I am totally starting to look like a natural, don't you think? You should have seen the first time I held him two months ago, I was about as flexible as concrete because I was soooooo terrified.
I was in MI from Friday night through Monday afternoon and wanted to do as much as possible to help alleviate the sleeplessness of my sister and brother-in-law. I don't want to sound like I was a Saint or anything like that because I still fit in plenty of "butt on couch time"!
I volunteered to do baby duties and was put through my first "Baby Boot Camp." I don't think there is more valuable experience in the world than offering to do middle of the night duties or allow mom and dad to make a quick run to the store while still having the safety of mom and dad around in case I needed help or had a question. And for the most part, Liam went pretty easy on me. I did get a dooty that smeared all the way up his back, he peed on me, and he spit up on himself and me twice. But I also got to help give him a bath, rock him to sleep, feed him, change him, and dress him.
And it was in those times that I looked down at him and wondered how anyone could give a little, helpless being like him up for adoption. Don't get me wrong, I am going to be eternally grateful to the person(s) who has the strength to give us their child, but in those moments with Liam, I knew that I don't think I could do it if the tables were turned. And that is where I think the huge misconception with adoption comes in. Most people think that people put their babies up for adoption because they don't care, but I have a feeling that when the time comes to take our baby from its birth mother's arms, it will be the most difficult moment of that woman's life. And it isn't because she doesn't care....it is because she cares so much for that baby that she knows she cannot give it the quality of life it deserves.
Whoa, this blog entry took a TOTALLY different turn than originally intended. Back on course! Anyways, being with Liam was great and I find myself really missing him. I can't wait to see him and my family again!!!
Here is a picture of Liam and I at brunch after the Baptism. I am not sure why my nose looks SO big in this picture, but Liam as usual looks flawless!! Note: I am totally starting to look like a natural, don't you think? You should have seen the first time I held him two months ago, I was about as flexible as concrete because I was soooooo terrified.
March 17, 2011
The Baby's Room
HOW COULD I FORGET THIS? Jon and I cleaned house in a major way. We got rid of all of our mis-matched furniture and bought new furniture to replace it (a few weeks ago). This was going to be our last major purchase before the baby came (sidebar: thanks to a leaky roof, the furniture will NOT be our last major purchase before the baby comes).
In the process, we moved furniture all around our house. We moved matresses from one room to another, downstairs furniture is now upstairs, upstairs furniture is now downstairs. Additionally, we transformed the "dogs room" which was one of our upstairs bedroom into a baby's room. It is a very sad baby's room however. It consists of a rocking chair and our emergency baby "to go" bag. Oh yea, and we have two cute little baby shirts hanging on hangers in the closet that Jon get when skiing in CO.
There are two schools of thought on the prepartion of the baby's room when adopting:
In the process, we moved furniture all around our house. We moved matresses from one room to another, downstairs furniture is now upstairs, upstairs furniture is now downstairs. Additionally, we transformed the "dogs room" which was one of our upstairs bedroom into a baby's room. It is a very sad baby's room however. It consists of a rocking chair and our emergency baby "to go" bag. Oh yea, and we have two cute little baby shirts hanging on hangers in the closet that Jon get when skiing in CO.
There are two schools of thought on the prepartion of the baby's room when adopting:
- It will keep you excited, motivated, and take your mind off of the process if you paint it, decorate, buy furniture, etc.
- It will keep you depressed, angry, and resentful everytime you pass the finished room and realize you still don't have a baby and that there is no guarantee that you will ever have a baby.
Baby Classes
Thanks to my brilliant friend Julie (whose husband attended baby classes at a local hospital), Jon and I will be taking "Newborn Care" classes on May 12th and May 19th. Even though we can't predict if or when we will get a baby, we just want to be as prepared as possible. This is sure to be another humiliating experience for Jon and I as everyone in the room plays the fun old fashioned game of "what are those two guys who arrived together and look really nervous doing in our Newborn Care class? Are they here to snatch our babies or turn them gay?'' Though Jon and I use these experiences as preparation for when we will receive those stares/questions when we have a newborn baby, possibly of another race.
The best part is that every form we have filled out (including my registration for this class) has required a Mother's name and a Father's name. It is funny how we didn't flip a coin or wrestle to see who would be Mother on all of the forms. It was just automatically me. I should just legally change my name to "Keith Burgess (Adoptive Father)" since that is what all of my forms say when they ask for Mother's Name.
Jon and I think we should open an adoption agency or more importantly a "forms" agency where we can eliminate these types of humiliations for people. Thank God Jon and I don't get penalized for the use of N/A because half of our forms are covered with N/A.
The best part is that every form we have filled out (including my registration for this class) has required a Mother's name and a Father's name. It is funny how we didn't flip a coin or wrestle to see who would be Mother on all of the forms. It was just automatically me. I should just legally change my name to "Keith Burgess (Adoptive Father)" since that is what all of my forms say when they ask for Mother's Name.
Jon and I think we should open an adoption agency or more importantly a "forms" agency where we can eliminate these types of humiliations for people. Thank God Jon and I don't get penalized for the use of N/A because half of our forms are covered with N/A.
March 10, 2011
Clean as a Whistle!!
As I mentioned before, the downside of having a baby born in another state is the fact that you are stuck in that state until you are cleared to leave and come back to your own state. This is fine and dandy while the baby is at the hospital, but once the baby leaves the hospital there is a great potential that the first few days of its life are going to be spent in a hotel room as I discussed in previous posts.
The other unfortunate part we have found is that we may not have access to the "normal" sterilizing methods afforded to other couples. This includes our baby's clothes and bottles. So on Sunday, Jon and I had a baby clothes washing and bottle sterilization day. Talk about the blind leading the blind. You would thought we were working at the Department of Health in full body suits the way we were handling things in our kitchen. We then placed all the prodcuts into air tight bags. While we aren't as concerned about the clothing (as long as it isn't brand new and scratchy), we do realize that the bottles will need to be re-sterilized. But this gives us the peace of mind of knowing that atleast it was done once (properly). In the hotel, we will have microwaveable sterilization bags which will allows us to kill any additional cling-on germs. We will probably continue to appropriately sterilize the bottles (with boiling water) every few months until we are selected.
The other unfortunate part we have found is that we may not have access to the "normal" sterilizing methods afforded to other couples. This includes our baby's clothes and bottles. So on Sunday, Jon and I had a baby clothes washing and bottle sterilization day. Talk about the blind leading the blind. You would thought we were working at the Department of Health in full body suits the way we were handling things in our kitchen. We then placed all the prodcuts into air tight bags. While we aren't as concerned about the clothing (as long as it isn't brand new and scratchy), we do realize that the bottles will need to be re-sterilized. But this gives us the peace of mind of knowing that atleast it was done once (properly). In the hotel, we will have microwaveable sterilization bags which will allows us to kill any additional cling-on germs. We will probably continue to appropriately sterilize the bottles (with boiling water) every few months until we are selected.
March 3, 2011
March 2011 Bulletin
Our adoption agency puts out a monthly bulletin which can be equal parts good news at seeing progress in the agency and equal parts bad news at seeing the progress that isn't happening to you. We are going to choose to see other people's progress as a the good things coming out of the agency and when the time is right, our progress may be someone else's motivation to keep fighting. Also, it might help us get a good idea at how much time we will have (or not have) to prepare. As a reminder, the only states were our baby (and the babies below) will come from are OR or WA.
- A same-sex male couple were chosen with a one month notification. The mother just gave birth in February. The great news about this story is that the couple if from WI which makes Jon and I feel much better that we aren't at a total disadvantage not living on the West Coast.
- A same-sex female couple were chosen at the last minute a day after the mother had given birth on February 16th.
- A couple who were chosen with a month notification were in the room when the baby was born on February 5th.
- A couple who were chosen and the baby was born on February 9th. There was no mention of how much time they had to prepare.
- A couple who were chosen and were in the room when the baby was born on February 3rd. There was no mention of how much time they had to prepare.
February 14, 2011
(Mis)Adventures at Babies R' Us
Thankfully Jon and I weren't the only people with the "deer in the headlights" look at Babies R' Us yesterday. There were plenty of couples who looked equally as terrified, equally as overwhelmed, and had their mom's and sister's on speed dial equally as often as Jon and I.
Why would we be at Babies R' Us if we don't have a baby? Well, since statistically around upwards of 40% of the births done through our agency are done at the last minute (right before or after a mother gives birth at the hospital), we need to have an Emergency Last Minute Kit of baby items prepared. Additionally, even if we aren't chosen at the last minute and have a few months to prepare, our baby's first days out of the hospital are going to be spent in a hotel room because of Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC). The ICPC is all the legal mumbo-jumbo that happens between the state where the baby is born and our home state essentially "clearing" us to enter MN with the baby. We legally cannot leave the state where the baby is born until this clearance happens. This could take a few days, but we have been told to prepare for up to two weeks.
So, we were given a list of exactly what we need in our emergency kit that should be packed and ready to go at anytime. That all sounds fine and dandy with one teensy weensy problem.....barely any of the stuff they ask you to pack fits quaintly inside of a suitcase.
Here is the list of things we need to have in our emergency kit:
All in all, it took us 3 hours and 15 minutes to buy this entire list. And I made four calls to my sister and one call to my mom.
Why would we be at Babies R' Us if we don't have a baby? Well, since statistically around upwards of 40% of the births done through our agency are done at the last minute (right before or after a mother gives birth at the hospital), we need to have an Emergency Last Minute Kit of baby items prepared. Additionally, even if we aren't chosen at the last minute and have a few months to prepare, our baby's first days out of the hospital are going to be spent in a hotel room because of Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC). The ICPC is all the legal mumbo-jumbo that happens between the state where the baby is born and our home state essentially "clearing" us to enter MN with the baby. We legally cannot leave the state where the baby is born until this clearance happens. This could take a few days, but we have been told to prepare for up to two weeks.
So, we were given a list of exactly what we need in our emergency kit that should be packed and ready to go at anytime. That all sounds fine and dandy with one teensy weensy problem.....barely any of the stuff they ask you to pack fits quaintly inside of a suitcase.
Here is the list of things we need to have in our emergency kit:
- Car Seat
- Slanted Sleeper/Travel Crib
- 1 Bottle Sterilizer
- 1 Bottle Drying Rack
- 6 - 4oz. Bottles
- 6 Burping Diapers/Clothes
- 1 Package Disposable Diapers
- 1 Package Baby Wipes
- 2 Changing Pads
- 4-6 One Piece Sleepers
- 4 T-Shirt Onsies
- 4 Waffle Blankets for Swaddling
- 2 Baby Caps
- 3 Pairs of Socks
- 1 Sleep Sack
- 6 Baby Washclothes
- Baby Shampoo
- Pacifiers
All in all, it took us 3 hours and 15 minutes to buy this entire list. And I made four calls to my sister and one call to my mom.
February 10, 2011
Count Up Clock
Maybe it is a really bad idea, but I'll wait to see how badly it tortures us! I added a count up clock on the right of the screen to show how long we have been in the pool and "available" to be selected as a adoptive parents. Mainly because I am bad at math and this makes it easier to figure out, but mostly because I am just curious to see exactly how long this part of the process will take (if it takes at all).
WE'RE IN THE POOL!!!!
OMG, the moment we have been waiting for is finally here. We are OFFICIALLY in the pool of available candidates that can be selected by the birth parents!! It has been a long, tough road, but Jon and I couldn't be anymore excited for this day to arrive. In the beginning of this process, this day seem like it would never come to fruition and yet, 8 months later......here we are.
Regardless of whether we are picked or not, our lives are about to change in ways we could never imagine. Every time the phone rings, I think we will be on high alert and wonder to ourselves and as we make a made dash to our phones, "is this the call that is going to change our lives permanently?" I am not sure how any human being emotionally prepares for such a thing. I guess we are about to find out. Let's hope this doesn't end with one of us at the funny farm....ha ha!!
Any and all prays are welcome!
Regardless of whether we are picked or not, our lives are about to change in ways we could never imagine. Every time the phone rings, I think we will be on high alert and wonder to ourselves and as we make a made dash to our phones, "is this the call that is going to change our lives permanently?" I am not sure how any human being emotionally prepares for such a thing. I guess we are about to find out. Let's hope this doesn't end with one of us at the funny farm....ha ha!!
Any and all prays are welcome!
January 31, 2011
Deeeeeeeeeelays Galore!
Jon and I have decided that if either our new furniture doesn't arrive or we don't get the call with the words "you're in the pool" uttered in the next few days, we are both going to go Postal. Like you may see us on the 5 O'clock News and our neighbors will say the very predictable "they were very quiet and nice and kept to themselves. We never would have expected them to do something like that."
Seriously though, it doesn't seem fair! We have done everything we needed to do and now we have to leave the timeline in the hands of individuals who don't see us the same priority as we see ourselves. That sounds like a very selfish statement, but I don't mean it that way. As Jon reminded me, our MN Homestudy is already 33% expired and we aren't even in the pool of candidates yet. We very likely will have to have our MN Homestudy redone at a whopping $2,500 in roughly 9 months.
Anywho, our West Coast counselor who told us that she saw no reason why we shouldn't be in the pool by mid-January, has now drastically altered her statement after Jon asked for a friendly update after mid-January came and went. We were both flabbergasted to learn that she hadn't even started "finalizing" us to be entered into the pool due to her own family issues and some office reorganizations. We are now feeling lucky if we will even be in the pool by the end of February.
I hope that my next post has exponentially happier news or I may be in an orange jumpsuit and orange is definitely not my color!
Seriously though, it doesn't seem fair! We have done everything we needed to do and now we have to leave the timeline in the hands of individuals who don't see us the same priority as we see ourselves. That sounds like a very selfish statement, but I don't mean it that way. As Jon reminded me, our MN Homestudy is already 33% expired and we aren't even in the pool of candidates yet. We very likely will have to have our MN Homestudy redone at a whopping $2,500 in roughly 9 months.
Anywho, our West Coast counselor who told us that she saw no reason why we shouldn't be in the pool by mid-January, has now drastically altered her statement after Jon asked for a friendly update after mid-January came and went. We were both flabbergasted to learn that she hadn't even started "finalizing" us to be entered into the pool due to her own family issues and some office reorganizations. We are now feeling lucky if we will even be in the pool by the end of February.
I hope that my next post has exponentially happier news or I may be in an orange jumpsuit and orange is definitely not my color!
January 16, 2011
Liam Gregory Giera
I am so proud to announce the birth of my nephew Liam Gregory Giera!! He was born at 6:52 pm on January 16th, 2011. He was 7 lbs 2 ounces and was 20 inches long. Both my sister and Liam are doing great!!
We hope and pray that someday Liam will have a cousin and they will be the best of friends! And my brother-in-law is an only child so Jon and I are Liam's only hope at having a cousin!!
We hope and pray that someday Liam will have a cousin and they will be the best of friends! And my brother-in-law is an only child so Jon and I are Liam's only hope at having a cousin!!
January 11, 2011
Statistics
Some of the most common questions we receive are regarding statistics, time lines, etc. Some of the statistics are great for doing your best to "prepare," but the bad thing about statistics is that there is always an exception to the rule. For example, the average wait time for a same-sex couple is 15 months. But what really does that mean:
Regardless, here are some interesting statistics from our agency:
- Some same-sex couples get chosen on Day 1 while other couples get chosen at the 3 year mark (of waiting to be selected) which averages to 15 months.
- Or do most couples actually wait approximately 15 months?
Regardless, here are some interesting statistics from our agency:
- Avg. of 12 month wait for heterosexual couples.
- Avg. of 15 month wait for same-sex couples.
- 40 -60 children placed per year on average from a pool of around 70 "waiting" families (like us).
- 98% of children placed are newborn children.
- 7% of birth mothers change their mind after planning an adoption. This statistic is a terrifying reality that Jon and I try not to think of regularly.
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