Newborn Infant Care Classes - Class Two

Well we successfully made it through our second and final Newborn Infant Care Class. This class was 100% hands-on. The emphasis of the class was on the following:

Sweet Baby Mika



• Changing Diapers

• Holding a Newborn

• Bathing a Newborn

• Swaddling a Newborn

We were each told to "grab a baby" from a table of babies. I grabbed this baby who we thoughtfully named Mika which is the #1 contending name that Jon's mom wants us to name our baby. We figured if we don't name our actual baby Mika, this would at least be paying respect to her. The babies were not like real babies and because their arms and legs were not flexible, it made most of these tasks almost impossible. 

Me swaddling Mika.



If we had to grade each other on swaddling, Jon would get an A+ and I would get a D-. I personally would consider swaddling a mathematical calculation and in all fairness, Jon was a math major in college and I was not (I will just leave it at that and not reveal my academic ineptness at math) so it was only natural that he would be better than me. I mean, you are after all folding the blanket into different geometric shapes and geometry and me.....we don't mix......EVER!! 

Changing Diapers was not biggie for either Jon or me. We both have done it numerous times. However, there were at least 4-5 people in a room of 20 who never had changed a diaper before which was interesting to us.

We bathed our babies and Jon and I split the duties. I took the top half and Jon took the bottom half which is by far the more complicated half. It was nice because we learned about cleaning the umbilical cord, cleaning a circumcision, and cleaning the important areas in general.



Jon holding Mika.  See, he looks like a pro!



And finally, Jon and I felt like naturals with the holding the baby section. The instructor showed us 10 or so holds and made us practice. She also made us practice talking to our plastic babies which was by far the most awkward part of the whole class.

I think the most entertaining part of the whole class however was the guy who fell asleep in class and his wife kept nudging him to wake up because she was mortified. But he just kept falling asleep and you could tell he was going to get the ass-chewing of his life when he got home. You can fall asleep during a movie, watching TV, during history class, but you do not fall asleep during Newborn Infant Care Class when your wife is 8 months pregnant.  I don't know about you, but I smell a Father of the Year trophy in his near future!

Newborn Infant Care Classes - Class One

Jon and I are taking a two part class on Newborn Infant Care from the local hospital in St. Paul.  This all came about upon the suggestion of my wonderful friend Julie who noted that her husband Alvin got a lot out of these type of classes.  Jon and I have been really excited, but equally terrified because of the whole "which of these couples is not like the rest" looks we get.  And boy oh boy, this class did not disappoint!!  We stood outside the door trying to rubberneck and see what kind of couples were inside.  After standing in the hall like losers for two minutes debating whether or not we had the strength to walk through the door, I finally took charge and busted on it.  Within four seconds of entering the door, the female instructor announces in front of all the couples already in the room......."Wooooow, two dads and noooooooooo mommy?"  It wasn't a statement so much as a question and this began our awkward journey through Newborn Infant Care. 

I have to note that there were seven couples total and two singles - a soon-to-be mom and a soon-to-be dad who were not together.  And of those seven couples, only one of them besides Jon and I were married.  I found that very interesting!  We were told we have to introduce ourselves and tell everyone our scheduled due date (cue the panicked expressions on the faces of Jon and I)  I tried pulling out the old "in case you couldn't tell, neither of us is actually due to give birth" joke to lighten the mood and was greeted to a mixed reaction of laughter and scowls. 

Anywho, we covered a variety of things including states of infant consciousness, cues that your baby is overstimulated, crib safety, and general infant appearance.  This was the informational class and next week will be the hands on portion (bathing, swaddling, etc.) which will be great. We did get to see a slide show of all the different non-critical and temporary abnormalities that could be present in an infant (cone head, cradle cap, etc.) so that we were not alarmed at the appearance of our baby should any of those abnormalities be present.  And I just have to say that I have never seen so many nipples in my entire lifetime (cue the jokes).  I mean I am fascinated by the female body's ability to carry off such a magnificent and amazing task, but seriously, are the one minute closeups (no exaggeration!) necessary in the video that is blown up to the size of a movie theatre screen?  There was literally no safe place to look in the room!!  Looking at the screen made me feel perverted and looking around the room made me look uncomfortable with female anatomy which for the record I am not.  Only when the nipple is big enough to body slam me do I feel awkward!!  I could feel the uncontrollable giggles starting so I had to go to my "safe place" in order not to make a complete fool of myself......and Jon!

Class Two is next Thursday.

Day 84 - No News is Boring News

Well, our Count Up Clock is on the fritz.....AGAIN!  Anyways, it is day 84 since we entered the pool of candidates and we just wanted to inform everyone that we haven't abandoned the blog or are letting it fall by the wayside.  There literally is nothing to report.  It has been rather quiet as of lately with regards to the adoption. 

Jon and I both report to each other that every now and again at an extremely random moment in time (taking a shower, driving to work, making a sandwich), one of us will get a "today may be the day" chill up our spine.  And while so far none of them have proven to be anything, it temporarily reignites our excitement after day-upon-day of no news.