Baby Duties & Baby's Dooties

Well, my adorable nephew Liam was baptized last weekend and I am honored to be one of his Godparents.  He did fantastic and I may be partial, but I think he was the cutest baby that has ever been baptized.  He wore an all white suit with a vest and matching tie.  I almost died....almost died!

I was in MI from Friday night through Monday afternoon and wanted to do as much as possible to help alleviate the sleeplessness of my sister and brother-in-law.  I don't want to sound like I was a Saint or anything like that because I still fit in plenty of "butt on couch time"!

I volunteered to do baby duties and was put through my first "Baby Boot Camp."  I don't think there is more valuable experience in the world than offering to do middle of the night duties or allow mom and dad to make a quick run to the store while still having the safety of mom and dad around in case I needed help or had a question.  And for the most part, Liam went pretty easy on me.  I did get a dooty that smeared all the way up his back, he peed on me, and he spit up on himself and me twice.  But I also got to help give him a bath, rock him to sleep, feed him, change him, and dress him. 

And it was in those times that I looked down at him and wondered how anyone could give a little, helpless being like him up for adoption.  Don't get me wrong, I am going to be eternally grateful to the person(s) who has the strength to give us their child, but in those moments with Liam, I knew that I don't think I could do it if the tables were turned.  And that is where I think the huge misconception with adoption comes in.  Most people think that people put their babies up for adoption because they don't care, but I have a feeling that when the time comes to take our baby from its birth mother's arms, it will be the most difficult moment of that woman's life.  And it isn't because she doesn't care....it is because she cares so much for that baby that she knows she cannot give it the quality of life it deserves. 

Whoa, this blog entry took a TOTALLY different turn than originally intended.  Back on course!  Anyways, being with Liam was great and I find myself really missing him.  I can't wait to see him and my family again!!!

Here is a picture of Liam and I at brunch after the Baptism.  I am not sure why my nose looks SO big in this picture, but Liam as usual looks flawless!!  Note: I am totally starting to look like a natural, don't you think?  You should have seen the first time I held him two months ago, I was about as flexible as concrete because I was soooooo terrified. 

The Baby's Room

HOW COULD I FORGET THIS?  Jon and I cleaned house in a major way.  We got rid of all of our mis-matched furniture and bought new furniture to replace it (a few weeks ago).  This was going to be our last major purchase before the baby came (sidebar: thanks to a leaky roof, the furniture will NOT be our last major purchase before the baby comes). 

In the process, we moved furniture all around our house.  We moved matresses from one room to another, downstairs furniture is now upstairs, upstairs furniture is now downstairs.  Additionally, we transformed the "dogs room" which was one of our upstairs bedroom into a baby's room.  It is a very sad baby's room however.  It consists of a rocking chair and our emergency baby "to go" bag.  Oh yea, and we have two cute little baby shirts hanging on hangers in the closet that Jon get when skiing in CO. 

There are two schools of thought on the prepartion of the baby's room when adopting:

1. It will keep you excited, motivated, and take your mind off of the process if you paint it, decorate, buy furniture, etc. 
2. It will keep you depressed, angry, and resentful everytime you pass the finished room and realize you still don't have a baby and that there is no guarantee that you will ever have a baby. 

So, Jon and I split the difference and have a room ready for a quick paint job if a baby comes, but also didn't decorate or buy furniture so we don't have to soak up each other's tears as we disasemble baby furniture or repaint the walls from baby blue or pink to white and think about "what could have been?!?!"

Baby Classes

Thanks to my brilliant friend Julie (whose husband attended baby classes at a local hospital), Jon and I will be taking "Newborn Care" classes on May 12th and May 19th.  Even though we can't predict if or when we will get a baby, we just want to be as prepared as possible.  This is sure to be another humiliating experience for Jon and I as everyone in the room plays the fun old fashioned game of "what are those two guys who arrived together and look really nervous doing in our Newborn Care class?  Are they here to snatch our babies or turn them gay?''  Though Jon and I use these experiences as preparation for when we will receive those stares/questions when we have a newborn baby, possibly of another race. 

The best part is that every form we have filled out (including my registration for this class) has required a Mother's name and a Father's name.  It is funny how we didn't flip a coin or wrestle to see who would be Mother on all of the forms.  It was just automatically me.  I should just legally change my name to "Keith Burgess (Adoptive Father)" since that is what all of my forms say when they ask for Mother's Name. 

Jon and I think we should open an adoption agency or more importantly a "forms" agency where we can eliminate these types of humiliations for people.  Thank God Jon and I don't get penalized for the use of N/A because half of our forms are covered with N/A.

Clean as a Whistle!!

As I mentioned before, the downside of having a baby born in another state is the fact that you are stuck in that state until you are cleared to leave and come back to your own state.  This is fine and dandy while the baby is at the hospital, but once the baby leaves the hospital there is a great potential that the first few days of its life are going to be spent in a hotel room as I discussed in previous posts. 

The other unfortunate part we have found is that we may not have access to the "normal" sterilizing methods afforded to other couples.  This includes our baby's clothes and bottles.  So on Sunday, Jon and I had a baby clothes washing and bottle sterilization day.  Talk about the blind leading the blind.  You would thought we were working at the Department of Health in full body suits the way we were handling things in our kitchen.  We then placed all the prodcuts into air tight bags.  While we aren't as concerned about the clothing (as long as it isn't brand new and scratchy), we do realize that the bottles will need to be re-sterilized.  But this gives us the peace of mind of knowing that atleast it was done once (properly).  In the hotel, we will have microwaveable sterilization bags which will allows us to kill any additional cling-on germs.  We will probably continue to appropriately sterilize the bottles (with boiling water) every few months until we are selected.

March 2011 Bulletin

Our adoption agency puts out a monthly bulletin which can be equal parts good news at seeing progress in the agency and equal parts bad news at seeing the progress that isn't happening to you.  We are going to choose to see other people's progress as a the good things coming out of the agency and when the time is right, our progress may be someone else's motivation to keep fighting.  Also, it might help us get a good idea at how much time we will have (or not have) to prepare.  As a reminder, the only states were our baby (and the babies below) will come from are OR or WA. 

• A same-sex male couple were chosen with a one month notification.  The mother just gave birth in February.  The great news about this story is that the couple if from WI which makes Jon and I feel much better that we aren't at a total disadvantage not living on the West Coast. 
• A same-sex female couple were chosen at the last minute a day after the mother had given birth on February 16th. 
• A couple who were chosen with a month notification were in the room when the baby was born on February 5th. 
• A couple who were chosen and the baby was born on February 9th.  There was no mention of how much time they had to prepare.
• A couple who were chosen and were in the room when the baby was born on February 3rd.  There was no mention of how much time they had to prepare.