In the famous words of Michael Jackson's song......"it don't matter if you're black or white" or Asian, Mexican, etc. Jon and I do not care what the race or sex of our baby is. We are asked this question most frequently and so I thought I would put the answer in writing.
We have to undergo additional adoption counseling in order to be "cleared" to be considered as parents for a baby of another race. Or to use adoption speak, a "trans-racial" baby. Actually, I had to take a 100 plus question quiz if you will about my racial viewpoints on the world. The test was very eye opening until I got to the Knowledge section which asked me to list 3 African American scientists or the first Asian Nobel Peace Prize Winner, or the first Eskimo to fly to the moon. Okay, I made up the 3rd one, but all the others were true and there were 20 or so questions like that.
My results told me what I already knew that I am fit to have a trans-racial baby, but those Knowledge questions certainly brought my score down from where I wanted it to be. I guess it is time to dust up on my race knowledge. Jon hasn't undergone the test yet, but I know he will easily cleared as well.
Though trans-racial parenting might not be for eveyrone, we just want to be parents in the worst way. We don't care what package our baby comes in, just as long as the package actually arrives.
November 4, 2010
Alcohol, Drugs, and Disease......Oh My!!
Jon and I accomplished one of the hardest tasks we were faced with in this entire process. Due to the amount of birth parents who have or currently are using/abusing drugs, alcohol, or tobacco, we had to fill out a screening tool which tells that agency what level of exposure we would "allow" a potential adoptive infant to be exposed to before we no longer consider ourselves fit parents.
This is an extremely difficult task considering all infants/children react differently to different substances. Secondly, it is amazingly hard to purposely exclude a child who needs a good home based on something they had no control over from the beginning. However, like everyone else in the world, we don't care the sex or race of our baby, but we ultimately would like it to be healthy.
We were asked to take a scale of drug/alcohol use and tell how far up that scale we would be willing to go (by accepting a child) before we said no. The scale was:
None - No exposure to drugs or alcohol.
Mild - Used up to 4 or 5 times throughout their pregnancy.
Moderate - Used consistently up to 4 or 5 months of pregnancy.
Severe - Used consistently more than 5 months of pregnancy.
The categories were:
This was just another hurdle in a process full of twists and turns we weren't expecting. Though we know from the bottom of our hearts that the outcome will make it ALL worthwhile.
This is an extremely difficult task considering all infants/children react differently to different substances. Secondly, it is amazingly hard to purposely exclude a child who needs a good home based on something they had no control over from the beginning. However, like everyone else in the world, we don't care the sex or race of our baby, but we ultimately would like it to be healthy.
We were asked to take a scale of drug/alcohol use and tell how far up that scale we would be willing to go (by accepting a child) before we said no. The scale was:
None - No exposure to drugs or alcohol.
Mild - Used up to 4 or 5 times throughout their pregnancy.
Moderate - Used consistently up to 4 or 5 months of pregnancy.
Severe - Used consistently more than 5 months of pregnancy.
The categories were:
- Alcohol
- Marijuana
- Cocaine
- Methamphetamines
- Prescription Drugs
- Heroin
- Tobacco
- Parents with mental health illness
- Children with "known" physical or mental abnormalities.
This was just another hurdle in a process full of twists and turns we weren't expecting. Though we know from the bottom of our hearts that the outcome will make it ALL worthwhile.
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