We received our first screening call yesterday. It couldn't have come at a better time and gave Jon and I the added boost we needed to stay positive throughout this process. A screening call is essentially a way for the agency to compare a birth mother's situation against our parameters for adopting a baby including drug usage, baby's race, baby's age, etc. If you are a potential match or a close match, they will call you to advise you of the exact specifics of the situation so you can make a judgement call as to whether this particular situation would be a fit for you or not. This does not mean we would have been choosen if we said yes. They are asking other potential screens whose parameters were also close but not an exact match about the same situation and then will send the profiles of the screeners who said "yes" to the birthmother. In the end, the birthmother still gets to choose.
The birthmother was Hispanic and had a 16 month old Hispanic/Caucasian baby. She was also 5 weeks pregnant with a Hispanic/African American baby. While the race of the babies are defintely not an issue for Jon and I....the age of the older child and the financial constratints (mainly that we had prepared for one child and not two) were of serious concern to us. A 16 month old is more than old enough to know it was taken away from its original mother and it could form some seroius attachment issues which would come to surface once the child got older. Additoinally, the mother wanted both of the children adopted to the same family. While we immeslely respect her for wanting to keep the siblings togehter, this is a little more than Jon and I may be able to handle all at once. It would be really hard to take care of a newborn and make sure the 16 month old was receiving the appropriate attention to make sure it didn't begin forming attachement disorders.
While in the end it wasn't a match for Jon and I, it keeps us motivated and reminds us that "the call" could come at any moment in our lives.
Don't be afraid of two, though. We're both excited and terrified at the possibility ourselves, but as always, you can make it work!
ReplyDeleteKeith! Matty Mart told me about your blog and I am so grateful he did; it is amazing! I am so excited for you and Jon, but I also can't imagine how difficult this process must be for you both. Sending tons of love and positive vibes your way!
ReplyDelete-Liz