What's In a Name?

Well, I hate to break it to you kiddo, but in case you didn't notice, you have two dads.  And this presents one huge problem when it comes to typical naming conventions. 

If I was a woman (no comments from the peanut gallery) and I married your father, my name would be Keith Adam McMaken.  Simple enough right?  Well, minus my occasional PMS related-meltdowns (I have had women tell me that so it isn't meant offensively), I can assure you I am not a woman.  Therefore, I kept my name and your father kept his name when we married.  So what should your last name be? 

From what we have read, we couldn't simply name you just one of our last names because then in the event the other parent is traveling with you (or we are in another situation where identification is required), we will constantly look like we are trying to abduct you and be subject to a barrage of questioning.  Additionally, doesn't giving you just one of our last names imply a different level of commitment or lay claim to you as one person's child over the other?  Though we will know this isn't the case, do we really need to make ourselves stand out more?

However, hyphenating our name seems to add a level of complexity to your life that we don't know is too great either:

1. I am annoyed with the length of my own last name and mine is only 7 letters long!  Burgess-McMaken is 15 letters long....that is over half of the length of the Alphabet.  With the amount of times you have to sign your name in life, this just seems like cruel and unusual punishment!!  (Unless you sign your name like your father, Aunt Kelly, or Grandpa Burgess who both just sign a squiggly line for their last names).
2. How the hell are they going to get Burgess-McMaken written on the back of a football jersey or the back of a letter jacket or any other thing like that? 
3. When people ask you why your last name is hyphenated (which they inevitably will), we don't want you to have to constantly "out" yourself as having two dads.  Life can be cruel enough without that added pressure. 

Your dad and I are really struggling with this.  This is yet another thing we want you to know we have thought long and hard about.  We have also debated changing our own last name to one or the other (Burgess or McMaken) or a famous last name mix concocted by my sister.....Burgaken.  But this seems like a crazy midlife change to undergo when we are already in such a long, stressful process. 

Anybody have any suggestions/preferences they could offer?  We wold be glad to hear from anybody!!